Thursday, November 24, 2005

STUFFED THANKSGIVING RANT


The Christmas lights went up the day after Halloween. Christmas songs in malls started last week. America doesn't give a rat's ass about Thanksgiving. Republican Christians use it as a holiday to thank God for "giving" them America. Native Americans hold "UnThanksgiving" to remember the genocide of their people. And everyone else uses it as a day off and a day to prepare for Consumer Monkey Day. I say, get rid of Thanksgiving.

I say let's have 2 Christmases. It's everyone's favorite holiday anyways and Americans love overkill. And there's no excuse for the economy to not to blossum as well. Two sucker punches of consumer madness will enable the US to pay for any damn war it wants. Also, on Nov. 1st, it'll make sense when all the XMAS decorations go up in Wal-Mart. Christmas #1 will be held on the 4th Thursday of every November. There will be 2 Black Fridays (Consumer Monkey Days). One on the last Friday of October and one after Christmas #1. Then, whatever presents you get during Christmas #1 that you don't like, you can re-gift on Christmas #2.

Need a Jesus Christ tie-in? OK...Say Christmas #1 is for celebrating his "Water To Wine" thing or some shit like that and then Christmas #2 is for celebrating his actual birthday. I know that's bass-ackwards, but who gives a fuck? It just means I get more DVDs wrapped in green and red paper.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Humbug!

Kevin said...

Thanks for a "This Divided State" worthy rant. You are completely right. Native Americans like Ward Churchill ....

Sorry, everytime I say that I fall off my chair in laughter.

Anyway, Native American Leaders like Ward Churchill have finally started to read Marx and realize that Unthankgiving should be a praxis in the social revolution.

Unfortunately, my mind has been polluted by conversations with lessers Native Americans (you know, the ones that can actually find indians in their genealogy). Those lesser people have much more complex thoughts on the issue. Many seem to list Thanksgiving among the positive things.

Of course, this is one of those games where you can elicit the response that you like depending on how you ask the question. A good progandist can find whatever they want to hear in any conversation ... and can change the meaning of what people actual said or did in an editing session.

There has been a great deal of effort thrown into radicalizing Native Americans. It is possible that native americans are more radicalized today they were just a few short years ago. A Native American who has been properly radicalized will be filled from top to bottom with hate. But that is true of most people. White people, Arabs, Hutus and others who've been properly radicalized are generally filled with hate.

I hope you had an enlightened UnThanksgiving. Vive la revolucion!

PS: This rant was much better than the one about Canada being smarter because they harvest their crops earlier than Americans.