BYU POLICE BEAT: Comedy Gold

It's time again for excerpts from Brigham Young University's police beat, as printed in the school's Daily Universe.

Feb 11: A female Wymount resident received a suspicious phone call in her home at 1:30 p.m. The male caller claimed to be from the psychology department and said he could try to help her relax. He got her to turn off the lights and lay down on her bed. The phone call ended when the girl's cell phone battery died. BYU Police told her she should notify her phone company next time she receives a call so that they can trace it.

Feb. 8: A suspicious red vehicle was reported in a parking lot near LaVell Edwards Stadium. Upon being questioned the couple sitting in the car claimed that they were just studying.

Feb. 3: A suspicious male was seen walking on South Temple Drive. An officer questioned him and he replied that nothing was wrong and he was simply clearing his mind.

Feb. 3: A Wymount resident reported disturbing behavior in the parking lot. A male resident was screaming about someone who had parked in his parking stall. The person who had parked in his spot came to move his car and they exchanged words. A BYU police officer spoke to the screaming man and told him to resolve his issues in a better way. The man said he was having a bad day and wanted to get home early and get some sleep. He promised to react more maturely next time.

Feb. 3: A man was reported standing in a BYU parking lot, pointing a toy gun at people at pretending to shoot them. The man was gone when officers arrived.

Jan. 26: A male was reported walking suspiciously on and around University Parkway. Officers responded and found out that the male was just having a difficult day and was simply trying to clear his head.

Jan. 24: A witness reported a suspicious male standing outside the Joseph Smith Building at 10:30 a.m. The male was wearing a black cloak and was singing to himself. He had been there for 45 minutes. Upon being questioned, the male said he was waiting for his class to begin and was happy. He said he was cold and was singing to keep warm.